Women 10 Living Fit Inside-Out
An empowering tool...find something, someone or somewhere to be thankful for, often, everyday! Guaranteed to be a life-changing practice.
Where there is Gratitude, there is Joy!
-Richard Rhor-
Hi everyone! Above is the sign in my doctor's office. It's a Children's creed but I think we can apply this to any generation.
Thank you to Kristin, and all of you who attended the Zoom, for an interesting and thought-full discussion this morning!
May 6, 10 am (Eastern time), Wednesday.Advanced Care Planning Study. A huge 'thank you' to Caroline Duquette for an excellent discussion and hope for the future. We wish you great success in your research and hope your will return to Living Fit to update us on your endeavours in the Fall.
May 11, 10 am:
Topic: Zoom with Kristin Mindful Meditation and more
Time: May 11, 2020 10:00 AM America/Toronto
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/85669394945?pwd=eDNaWWdQVmJjWHhES2w4YUZWanBCUT09
Meeting ID: 856 6939 4945
Password: 043150
May 14, 10 am:
Zoom meeting.
Topic: The Green Economy with Simon Blakely
Time: May 14, 2020 10:00 AM America/Toronto
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86028246120
Meeting ID: 860 2824 6120
EXERCISE FOR WELL AND LF exercise ENTHUSIASTS
Are you doing some home exercises and walking, social distancing of course? Here's a suggested start for you to keep your beautiful body happy, healthy and resistant to dis-ease.
I suggest that you do the following work-out every weekday and active rest for 2.
SPRING SESSION
WEEK 9
CARDIO:
Time to get your bikes out everyone! Meet up Wednesday May 13, or Friday, May 15, 9:30 am, weather permitting, at Food Basics, Cassells St. Physical distancing COVID PROTOCOL.
Continue to walk outdoors for 30 minutes, being mindful of social distancing. and/or try the videos below. Modify to suit your level of ability. Remember that 20 minutes of brisk walking is equivalent to a 10 minute full body/dance aerobic workout.
STRENGTH: (Choose 1 to 3 suggestions and alternate days)
3 sets of 10-15 squats to chair level
25 -50 wall push-ups. Progress to a ladies pushup on the floor.
3 sets of standing core. Standing on right leg for 30 sec, then left.
2 Wall or floor planks for 30 seconds.
Posture workout with Bob & Brad (See below, use a broomstick.)
https://youtu.be/bBFeWGUKLr4
or scroll down for video.
STRETCH: Living Fit quad, hamstring, calf stretches. Gentle arm swings forward, back, side to side. Checkout Yoga classes at many levels for Seniors on YouTube.
Just because the earth is cold doesn’t mean there’s nothing going on down there in the soil.
Think about what lies dormant in your own life right now, and consider what may bloom a few months from now.
Cold and dark, this time of year,
the earth lies dormant, awaiting the return
of the sun, and with it, life.
Far beneath the frozen surface,
a heartbeat waits,
until the moment is right,
to spring.
https://www.thoughtco.com/ about-yule-prayers-4072720
In almost every garden bed,
the sunflowers seedlings volunteer…
and every year I dig them up
and find them a home along the fence
where they can grow extravagantly.
Oh exuberance, of course
I love the sunflowers, their crazy willingness
to grow amongst the beets, amongst
the greens, amongst the chard
and kale and peas. I love their insistence
on making beauty and reaching for light.
I love their great golden heads,
playground of bees, nodding until
all their petals are gone. I know
they don’t mean to shade everything else,
don’t mean to block out the light.
They’re just doing what they were
designed to do. Grow tall.
Be stunning. Gather light. Make more.
~ Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer ~
www.wordwoman.com
…be in Love, not fear…
'Finding inner joy at any age. If you don't have a positive attitude to the future then you going to find aging difficult.'
The Ageless Soul by Thomas Moore
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
THANK YOU DR. SHAW!!
Please read the links listed below (copy and paste into your browser) and use the knowledge to make better decisions for your health and wellness. Knowledge is power and self-knowledge is self-empowerment!
ProteinAholic Garth Davis MD The Obesity Code Jason Fung MD
The Diabetic Code Jason Fung MD
SAFE PRESCRIBING FOR OLDER ADULTS:
https://www.cmpa-acpm.ca/en/advice-publications/browse-articles/2018/safe-prescribing-risks-for-older-patients
Choosing Wisely,,a Canadian compilation of evidenced
based recommendations for health care providers to order tests.
http://www.choosingwisely.org
IS SUNSCREEN THE NEW MARGARINE?
https://www.outsideonline.com/2380751/sunscreen-sun-exposure-skin-cancer-science
"When was the last time you did something for the first time?" A question from Gloria Decaire...at Living Fit we have have a lot of firsts on a regular basis and some lasts. Something to think about it....
"And what is as important as knowledge?" asked the mind. "Caring and seeing with the heart", answered the soul. Flavia
https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_esfahani_smith_there_s_more_to_life_than_being_happy?utm_campaign=tedspread--a&utm_content=talk_of_the_week_image&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare
LOOKING FOR INSPIRATION?:
1. Never Not a Lovely Moon by Caroline McHugh
2. Vimeo: Why Your Life is not a Journey
https://vimeo.com/176370337
3. A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen
4. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brenne Brown
5. Morning Reflections for Radiant Humans by Kristin Shepherd
Something to think about...
You don't have to be perfect to be liked,
loved or looked up to.
You don't have to be perfect
to do a spectacular job.
You don't have to be perfect to get respect
and recognition or to get ahead.
And you don't have to be perfect to be special.
You just have to be you!
Something to think on as we approach Fall session with theme of self-discovery...
“Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door. ”
—Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
Why we need to stay informed and engaged informed!
How Trees talk to each other...you'll never look at a tree the same way again!
Owning who we are is power. We gotta dare to stand out, we have to be different (because we are!) We have to embrace the Other, our Source. There is such power in unapologetically embracing ourselves, in cradling that part of our identities and experiences that we were taught to be silent about and ashamed of. There is power in 'I will no longer be ashamed'. I am mine. (Janet Mock)
For instance, as a child I was told not to cry..and I can cry at the simplest of experiences. It is part of who I am. So I own that I can do this and it is part of who I am. I am grateful that I can do this. Is it possible to find personal power in vulnerability? What do you think?
So for this session I am suggesting that we explore our personal power, our uniqueness through gratitude, how we can live more grateful lives by embracing our uniqueness and sharing it collectively with community (ies).
www.gratituderevealed.com is an awesome website...Have a look!
And grateful for this post below of Aretha Franklin from Kristin!
Hariett
I am not old…she said
I am rare.
I am the standing ovation
At the end of the play....
I am the retrospective
Of my life as art
I am the hours
Connected like dots
Into good sense
I am the fullness
Of existing.
You think I am waiting to die…
But I am waiting to be found
I am a treasure.
I am a map.
And these wrinkles are
Imprints of my journey
Ask me anything.
- Samantha Reynolds
Photo: Riitta Ikonen and Norwegian photographer Karoline Hjorth
Another perspective...
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
"Happiness depends on being free, and freedom depends on being courageous." Marie Rubotski
What do you do to get in touch with your freedom? (Hariett)
AN EMPOWERING VIDEO!
INCOMPLETE MANIFESTO #3-Process is more important than outcome. When the outcome drives the process we will only go to where we have already been. If process drives the outcome we may not know where we’re going, but we will know we want to be there.
INCOMPLETE MANIFESTO #4- Love your experiments (as you would an ugly child). Joy is the engine of growth. Exploit the liberty in casting your work as beautiful experiments, iterations, attempts, trials, and errors. Take the long view and allow yourself the fun of failure every day.
"If you can't do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill
"Allow events to change you.
You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisite for growth? The openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them." (The Incomplete Manfesto by Bruce Mao)
Be a light to others. Water the seeds of happiness and love in yourself and others. Be present to those close to you. Expand your family to include the whole world...a beautiful holiday to - do list! (via the Mankind Project)
New members welcome! Please contact me via phone for more information (705-495-4045).
Please email your questions to me for Karen Sarlo, Medium, who will be guest speaker, Dec 1 and 2. Karen will channel messages from the friends, family and pets you have loved and lost. Using her remarkable gifts, she is able to reconnect you to your loved ones, addressing your questions and concerns of where the soul exists after this life while also seeking to illustrate (through their messages) how these souls are still very much a part of your every day lives even now.
In the Aboriginal way of dreaming, the past and future are embedded in the present. One’s embodiment is the ground into which all continuity flows, so the past can be just as influenced as the future by one’s way of going in the here and now.
Let the way that you walk be slow. Let us listen to the pleas of our surrounding thirsts. Let us acknowledge the forgetting which drifted us onto this terrifying precipice. Let the grief of it all make its encounter through your remembering. And may beauty come alive then, under our feet."
Excerpted from the upcoming book "On Belonging" © Toko-pa Turner 2014. http://eepurl.com/jtRaL. Visit Dreamwork with Toko-pa for more information. Artwork by Victo Ngai.
By developing self compassion, we can be more compassionate to others.
What are you afraid of? (Shared by Kristin Shepherd)
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that
some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle,
and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and
making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious
Ambiguity. ”
—Gilda Radner (1946-1989)
Be peace, find peace, do peace ...because you are peace. You just may not know it yet! (Hariett)
How to 'Live Fit from the Inside-Out'?..words to live by:
Be the change...do good things...create beauty where ever you go, with your thoughts, your words and your deeds.
'The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is!' Jim Carrey
By Colleen M. Story
You’re eating right, exercising, and managing stress. But you’re still worried. Maybe someone in your family had cancer, or you have other risk factors. Is there anything else you can do?
Recent scientific studies shows there is—get to a forest and take a walk.
We’ve always known that spending time in nature is good for us, but now we have real evidence that spending time in the forest, specifically, can create measurable changes in our bodies and minds that have a significant effect on our health.
What is Forest Bathing?
The term shinrin-yoki or “forest bathing” was coined by the Japanese Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry, and Fisheries in 1982. It described the process of taking in the atmosphere of the forest to improve mental and physical relaxation. The practice has been popular in Japan for decades, with citizens escaping to one of the many forests to relax and recharge. To them, it’s an experience similar to aromatherapy, as breathing in the unique air of the forest is a key part of the process. According to a 2003 survey, over a quarter of respondents had participated in a forest-bathing trip.
In 2004, Japan established the Association of Therapeutic Effects of Forests. Just three years later, the International Union of Forest Research Organizations (IUFRO) launched a new taskforce on forests and human health in Finland. That same year, the Japanese Society for Hygiene established the Japanese Society of Forest Medicine.
All these associations have made it possible for researchers to conduct scientific tests on the effect of forest bathing on mental and physical health. The results have shown that if you’re not regularly walking in the forest, you should be!
Health Benefits of Forest Bathing
Turns out that taking a walk in the forest does a lot more for you than simply help you relax—thought in our fast-paced world, that’s significant in itself. Here’s more on what this therapy can do for you:
Boost the immune system: Laboratory studies discovered that “phytoncides”—like a-pinene and limonene, which are essential oils from the wood of forest trees—increase the activity of killer cells, responsible for keeping cancer cells in check and for otherwise preventing infections and illnesses. Other studies have found that fragrance from these oils helps boost killer cell activity. In 2010, researchers took it a step further, and conducted tests on healthy male subjects aged 37-55 who actually took a walk in the forest and then took a similar walk in the city.
Both walks were 2.5 km in length and lasted about two hours. Researchers measured phytoncides in the air, took blood samples and had participants complete a survey after the trip. They also took follow-up blood samples on day 7 and day 30 after the walks. Results showed that not only did the forest walk increase activity of natural killer cells (while the city walk did not), but the effects were still there 30 days later. In a second part of the same study, researchers found similar effects on women who engaged in forest walks. This part of the study also showed a decrease in the percentage of “T cells,” which indicate mental stress.
Relieve stress: In the study mentioned above, researchers measured levels of adrenaline in the urine of both the male and female participants. They found that the forest bathing trips significantly decreased the adrenaline levels, suggesting the participants were under lower stress during their time in the forest. Other studies have found similar results, with forest bathing reducing levels of “cortisol,” the stress hormone, and increasing self-reported vigor, as well as decreasing anxiety, depression, and anger. Measurements of white blood cells also showed that the experience was relaxing for the parasympathetic nervous system. An earlier 2007 study found that the stress-relieving effects were even greater for participants who were experiencing “chronic stress,” suggesting that forest bathing could be part of a therapeutic treatment.
Reduce blood pressure and heart rate: In another 2010 study, researchers conducted experiments in 24 areas in Japan. They found that not only did forest bathing reduce cortisol levels, but also reduced average blood pressure levels. Other measurements showed that the experience greatly increased relaxation and decreased stress.
Reduce fatigue & improve mood: Information from these studies also shows that even just viewing the forest (without walking through it) helped reduce fatigue and improve mood, when compared to viewing city landscapes. Walking through the forest increased the benefits—results showed that after walking participants scored lower in tension, depression, anger, fatigue, and confusion, while scoring higher in vigor, when compared with walking in the city.
Researchers noted “human beings have lived in the natural environment for most of the 5 million years of their existence. Therefore, their physiological functions are most suited to natural settings. This is the reason why the natural environment can enhance relaxation.”
They added that the effect on killer cells is significant, as the phytoncides can kill tumor cells by releasing anti-cancer proteins. In addition to showing increased natural killer cell function, these studies found an increase level of anti-cancer proteins after forest bathing, suggesting that the trips may “have a preventive effect on cancer generation and development.”
The Trees Are Key
All of these studies point to the trees as providing a big portion of the health benefits. Participants breathe in air laden with phytoncides, which are responsible for that lovely scent one encounters when in the forest. Just like essential oils have shown to have antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-microbial effects, so their aromas also seem to have healthful effects on the human body and mind. We breathe in the chemicals released by these oils as we walk among the trees, taking in their protective benefits.
So important are the trees, in fact, that studies have shown their presence outside of hospital windows improves recovery. A 1984 study, for example, reviewed data from patients who stayed in a suburban Pennsylvania hospital. Some stayed in rooms with windows that looked out on a small stand of deciduous trees, while others stayed in rooms with windows looking out on a brown brick wall. All were served by the same nurses, with rooms being nearly identical in terms of size and furniture.
Results showed that those who had a view of the trees had significantly shorter hospital stays, had fewer postsurgical complaints, used less-potent pain medications, and received fewer negative comments in the nurses’ charts than those who stayed in the rooms with the view of the brick wall.
Even just looking at images of nature can help some. A 2010 study, for example, found that views of nature help relieve stress and pain in healthcare settings.
For Your Next Forest Walk
To try forest bathing for yourself, find the nearest natural area with trees, and follow these tips:
· Plan your walk in such a way that you don’t get too tired on the trip.
· Try to stay at least an hour in the forest surroundings.
· Take along some water or snacks to make the experience more pleasant if you like.
· You don’t necessarily have to spend the whole time walking—leave your ideas of a “workout” or “exercise routine” behind. Instead, bring along a journal or a good book so you can just sit and absorb the atmosphere along the way.
· If you are in dire need of stress or health recovery, plan a two-to-three day trip to a forested area. You may want to stay in a cabin or something similar and walk among the trees every day.
· For everyday maintenance, a daily walk in a park near your home can also be helpful.
Do you practice forest bathing? Please share your thoughts.
To become stronger inside and out. So we are asked to do more than eat better or move more – we are asked to start thinking better. To truly change our body, we have to also condition our mind and nurture our spirit. Remember that what we think matters – and will be the difference-maker in improving the quality of our lives. If we want to live a healthier, more fulfilling life, we need to think in ways that reflect that aspiration. That means conditioning our mind to be more positive, to take control of our mindset and to create a “can-do” attitude. Our lifestyle habits are under our control – and we have a choice. We are probably going to live much longer than our ancestors but that doesn't mean that the quality of those years will be healthier. It really is an inside job and it really is up to us! Make better choices so that we can continue our life’s journey with a healthy body and strong mind and undaunting spirit!" Hariett
INSPIRATION! GRATITUDE! SELF-DISCOVERY! EMPOWERMENT!
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone
You meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply. Love generously.
Care deeply. Speak kindly......
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to
pass ...
It's about learning to dance in the rain! "Sent by Barbara Moulder
THE HAPPINESS ADVANTAGE
(Jim Rohn)
(And the crowd goes wild. Insert the sound of a thousand hearts taking flight.) Kristin
and dignity but for my Fool.” Theodore Isaac Rubin
"Live like somebody left the gate open, sing your heart out and dance like nobody's watching!" HM
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT...
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ” JFK
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just
happen.”
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
From Kathy Lococo
"Here are the ways I find my 'holy ground'-
Laughing-It's music for the soul.
Crying-it cleanses the mind.
Forgiveness-it frees the heart.
Being grateful-(especially for challenges)-its feeds the person you are and the
spirit within.
Meditation or praying-it keeps you in touch with God-whatever that may be for you or me."
(borrowed from Karen Salmansohn via Nanci Farella)
(original poem by Ann Kiemel Anderson from her book “I Love The Word Impossible”)
(Adapted (in part) by d. m. Katie Denis)
"i love the word impossible...
it’s like joy after sorrrow.
people being friends after being enemies.
rainbows after drenching rain.
a wound healed.
sunsets on quiet evenings after
hot, noisy days.
paralyzed, injured limbs learning to grow
strong and useful again.
forgiveness after wrong.
truth after fog.
new love-made babies.
birds learning to fly and own the sky.
bitterness turned to mellowness.
fresh, genuine hope...once abandoned.
people finding each other at right moments,
in unexpected, obscure places...
because the universe ordains it.
i love that word impossible
because life is about adventures
and extraordinary mountains,
and we dare to be alive in a world crawling with terrible situations.
Bigger than any impossibility is love...
and love always finds a way through...
in time.
love isn't scared.
it builds bridges instead of walls.
it never gives up.
it always hangs on.
it waits with stubborn, strong hope.
sometimes even years.
Life is alive in far more than human souls.
like sun and clear sky and drooping branches
and dark birds and color and design and music....
and the sound of water on a shore.
IMPOSSIBLE means that i, an ordinary woman,
can be something special and significant
in an enormous, hurting world.
By choosing to live life fully
I can offer kindness to the world and be a source of love
where i live, to others and to myself
..and that really does make all the difference.
and add depth and wisdom." Oprah
Something to Think About....
"With a growing understanding that everything I feel has purpose to help me learn, I am gaining a greater acceptance to allow myself to feel the emotions that come and go. What's more, I'm now seeing that regardless of how I feel at any moment, I can be in the flow of joy and thanksgiving. I only need breathe." Tim Morin
from Tim Morin.....Approximately 20,000 times a day, I am gifted with a breath...which means I have 20,000 things to be thankful for everyday.
Gratitude locks in the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. (Melody Beattie)
Find the moments when life pours in.
- Alan Alda -
T- Is it true?
H-Is it helpful?
I-Is it inspiring?
N-Is it necessary?
K-Is it kind?
The definition of insanity???
Doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting a different result. - Albert Einstein -
DON'T STAY PUT! -Hariett-
"Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it...This will miraculously transform your whole life."
Eckhart Tolle
Think of a time when you changed your perspective and the event took on a different light. What are your tools for personal development and change, that enable you to see who you truly are.
If you are ready to see yourself through a different lens and to make some changes, think about: What is it that I really need? What is it that I really need to feel more alive? It's a journey of a life time!
“You can't change what's happened in the past, but anyone can start today
and make a new beginning. Are you willing to make the
leap?"
- Hariett
"Intention is a force in the universe and everything and everyone is connected to this invisible force. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change"
Dr. Wayne Dyer
Thanks to Ami Aylett, Law of Attraction coach, for her presentation on Quantum Success and reminding us that we are already 'enough'. We just need to align with who we really are, human beings with joy, freedom, power, knowledge, love and appreciation...instead of aligning with fear, anger, doubt, frustration and blame, not who we really are. What have you got to lose? What will improve your health and happiness? For your free coaching session call her at 613-680-0880 or email her at loacoach6@gmail.com. (Living Fit members only) Check out her website, www.wix.com/loacoach6/inspiringawareness
Congratulations to all the members for stretching beyond the ordinary and exercising your body, mind and spirit in new ways. The quote above says it all! Stay with it. A life choice to either grow or decay.
Hariett
“I’m not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to
sail my ship.” Louisa May Alcott
Some words of wisdom that we can
all live by, from our Alanon guests
Don't waste a lot of time being angry, resentful and bitter. Learn to take care of
yourself. Keep changing. Try new things. Live for today. Live in gratitude.
Find your inner peace. When you stay with your inner peace you allow others to
find theirs. Fear can rule you. Each fear that you conquer will raise your
self-esteem. Try not to suffer from the reactions or actions of other people.
Detach. Listen and learn something new everyday. Let go of judgement.
As I heard it-Hariett
“Watch your words; they become actions.”
“Watch your actions; they become habits.”
“Watch your habits; they become your character.”
“Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”
Though we may desire our future to be different to our past and present – many of us don’t achieve our goals because we’re stuck in a chronic cycle of “doing the same things over and over and expecting different results”. If we keep doing what we’ve always done, will
we not get what we’ve always got?
“The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
Something to think about..."
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else's life. Don’t be trapped by dogma- which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let
the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is
secondary.” (Steve Jobs)
THE SITUATION
In Washington DC, at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the
station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.
About 4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.
At 6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
At 10 minutes: A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.
At 45 minutes: The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.
After 1 hour: He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a Stradivarius violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days earlier, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the DC Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.
This experiment raised several questions:
*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?
*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the
finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . . …….How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?
Self-Discovery...“It begins with your awakening. Your own desire for a life that’s not just lived on the surface but is rich and deep and high and wide. For sure, that’s how I want to live! So I’m going to keep learning til my last breath.” Oprah
The greatest boundaries that we face are the ones we ourselves create in our minds. Ellyn Spragins
So what's your story....now that you have had a fitness assessment? What is your response-ability? Are you frozen with fear of change/failure/success? Or are you moved to reach for a better you? It's not the joy in reaching the destination as much as finding joy in the process. A journey of self-discovery!
(Hariett)
found yourself, for now. And now is all we have and love is who we are."
-Anne Lamott-
GET
REAL!: What is your normal? Where are you on the wellness continuum? How
does your normal fit with what you know as wellness?
GET READY!: What is possible for you?
Can you be, do and have better?
GET MOVING!: How can
you move closer to your optimal wellness? Have you started yet?
Want to stay motivated to be alive and well?
Live each day as if you're already there!
With
Love,
Hariett
“Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.”
John Maxwell - speaker,
author
How do feel about this statement? Can you make this work for you in your journey of self-discovery?
“The happiest people are those who discover that what they should be doing and what they are doing are the same thing.” Unknown -
Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you; they are unique
manifestations of the human spirit." - Wade Davis,
Who you are makes a difference...and every single other person has
that capacity, too. Fill yourself up with your own possibilities and let the rest of the world enjoy your uniqueness while you enjoy theirs.
(Hariett)
“Our destiny changes with our thoughts; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thoughts correspond with our
desires.”
— Orison Swett Marden
— Paul Klee
Or another way to say it might be: At every moment I am either contracting or expanding my capacity to love. Some days, like yesterday, I felt like I was contracting for awhile. Today I am grateful for the chance to begin again. May the adventure continue!
- Hariett
Albert Schweitzer
A Thought on Healing
Hariett
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
A review of the book & presentation by Maxine Bridges
A great big thank you for a wonder-full presentation and opportunity for us to learn more about what LOVE', to love , to be loved and to be loving, really means.....
Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller!
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full,
undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts
thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely!
Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
Letting-go is not to do nothing .
On the contrary, it is a voluntary and dynamic action.
It is to continue to act without worrying about the result,
to deal with the future without being worried about it.
Letting go into who you really are is the greatest gift you can give the world.
As you let go of problems, judgments, resentments, and most importantly,
all the beliefs and messages that are not your highest truth,
you become free to express your authentic self with others and share your true gifts with the world.
Letting go involves releasing the past and starting fresh in the present moment.
It means trusting that you are more than your roles, beliefs, and stories.
Many are reluctant to let go because they fear they will have nothing left.
They cling to problems, unhealthy situations, and outworn roles and relationships
because it feels safe in its familiarity.
They don’t know who they are underneath.
They haven’t experienced their true, authentic Self bursting
with energy, waiting to express its true nature in the world.
So how does one touch into this state of freedom where
they can be themselves, uninhibited, light, and joyful ?
By letting go, bit by bit.
By first noticing where they hold on, where they resist, and where they struggle,
and then slowly, gently, releasing the hold and embracing what’s underneath.
Meditation Provence
"Will I find the best answers to my problems through meditation? The first answer is yes. The more interesting answer is that I'll realize I have no problems." -Dr. K. Shepherd-
Visit Kristin at www.yogajournal.ca, Beginner's Mind.
Recommended Reading:
The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
Real Happiness by Sharon salsberg
Hariett Madigan
But little by little / as you left their voices behind / the stars began to burn / through the sheets of clouds / and there was a new voice / which you slowly / recognized as your own / that kept you company / as you strode deeper and deeper / into the world / determined to do / the only thing you could do— / determined to save / the only life you could save.
— Mary Oliver, from "The Journey"
Dan Zadra
“Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it towards others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will be in our troubled world. ”
Etty Hillesum (1914-1943);
Dutch writer, Holocaust sufferer
Something to think about...
Stress is personal. What is stressful for some may not be stressful for others. We need to know what causes us stress. We need to know what the symptoms are.
1. What gets me going?
2. Stress triggers
*Feeling nervousness
*Being out of control
*Being angry
*Substance abuse
*Depression
3. Develop a plan. How can I be good to myself?
Journaling is a great tool to help you identify your triggers. Then you can think about developing a plan to relieve the stress.
*Develop a sound sleep routine.
*Learn to say "NO"
*Visualization
*PHYSICAL ACTIVITY (minimum brisk walk 30 minutes most days)
*Schedule time for yourself.
*Meditation-get away form it all.
*Deep breathing.
*Eat well-cook for yourself.
*Spiritual balance.
*Seek support.
Release and relief from stress, the filght or fight response that plays havoc with your body if stress becomes chronic, requires action/movement. Internalizing stress can debilitate you and even cause dis-ease.
As I heard it...
Hariett
Live life in many directions......Move beyond what holds us back....go beyond what we are holding on to that seems to hold us back..the blessing of years is that you just don't care...When I shave in the morning I look in the mirror and say, "What the hell's my Dad doing in the bathroom?" ...Connect with the energy around you. Begin to see and feel differently...Surround yourself and others with love and energy, all kinds of goodness and safety. When an event troubles you, ask, "What can I learn from this?"...Let the rigidness of your former life go and have fun with new ideas. There comes a point when you can choose to dance with the questions. Open your selves to think in new ways.
And look for miracles everyday!
As I heard it-Hariett
In Search of Wonder..........
"As we become purer channels for the {Universal} Light, we develop an appetite for the sweetness that is possible in this world. A miracle worker is not geared toward fighting the world that is, but toward creating the world that could be." (Marianne WilliamsYoon) ...I have certainly found this to be true for me. I used to get more focused on what was wrong and trying to challenge it, but now I am so much more focused on creating what could be. Both can be good things, but it is more about a shift in perception and importance, realizing that it is less effective to oppose than it is to create - because one has a negative element & the other a positive one. (excerpt from 'Seeing Miracles Everyday') -Sherri Lane on Facebook
Mark Twain [Samuel Clemens] (1835-1910)
Something to ponder...
"Life is big. Sometimes bigger than i’d like. Not for a second does that change the fact that Love wins, and that my greatest task, no matter how big life gets, is to remember that." Dr. Kristin Shepherd
The Living Fit Philosophy
There are five main concepts/values highlighted in Living Fit from the Inside-Out! They are the ingredients that make this fellowship an engaging supportive environment for members, guest speakers and instructors, alike and build a better life.
These concepts are:
1. Compassion/love for self & others
Take an honest look at what you are doing to support your own well-being, your own life. It’s not enough to say I value my health above all else. You have to live that value. How does it manifest in your life? What small step (goal) lived everyday for 21 days, will bring your closer to living in harmony with your values. When is a good time to start?
2. Creativity/Play
Play is not a specific game or activity. It is a state of mind that brings new energy to the tasks at hand and sparks creative solutions.
3. Contribution/Service/Make their Day
If you find your energy lapsing, find someone who needs a helping hand, a word of support, or a good ear-and make their day.
4. Choose your Attitude
Your attitude is your reaction to what life hands you, and only you can choose that reaction.
5. Conscious living/Be There
To "be there" is to be fully engaged in the moment, inviting opportunities, and sharing the experience together.
How do we focus on what’s most important in our lives? How do we live fully in the moment? Have fun in our everyday living? Do we have the right attitude each day as we interact with others? Consider adopting the LFIO Philosophy. In five easy concepts, small, conscious-living steps. We can assist each other with a new perspective and view of the importance of our lives by living our values. Start by being more loving to yourself so that you can be more loving to others. And when all is said and done, remember Brene Brown on 'vulnerability'...."And the last, which I think is probably the most important,is to believe that we're enough.Because when we work from a placeI believe that says, "I'm enough,"then we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves'"
James Allen (1864-1912);
Writer
A gift from Carole Laperriere
Communicate intentionally
Appreciate enthusiastically
Relax frequently
Protect passionately
Exercise regularly
Discover happily
Interact playfully
Examine attentively
Move on confidently
If you are committed to living better, respecting your body, and leading a healthier, more meaningful life, consider 'CARPE DIEM' as your mantra for 2011.
Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability
Brene Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share.
- Love
- Health
- Wealth
- Comfort
- Fun
- Family
- Happiness
- Success
- Gratitude
- Learning
- Peace
- Intimacy
- Adventure
- Security
When you know better, you can do better, when you deeply understand, you can be better.
My thoughts on Karen's presentation (Hariett)
Why do we hang on to traditions that no longer bring us joy? Look at your expectations by understanding what you are feeling.
What is true? There are a 1000 truths. Better to ask what is your truth. If you take your truth and put it in a tiny box, that's who you become. Can you break out of the box even open the lid and have a look around? And awaken to new possibliities! Choose to become more, not a reflection of anyone else or anyone else's truth, without diminishing yourself or others.
What is your capacity to be loving, to be well, to be fully who you are and what are you willing to do about it?
Dr. Kristin Shepherd.
Kristin writes for Yoga Journal. She will be our keynote speaker for the spring session (end of March)and will lead our self-discovery workshop April 8.
You can read more of Kristin's writings at
Beginners Mind at
www.yogajournal.com
"To see your life as a rich tapestry, the work of such wonderful amazing beauty that it astonishes anyone who sees it, to think that it could have been possible to weave dark and light, heaviness and lightness, tone on tone, repeating patterns and sudden bursts of all-knowing color, so finely; and to have given such softness and flowing, hardness and sharpness, bumps and dents, the texture of who we are through the richness of our experiences. In fact, it is difficult to capture in words the power of these magnificent fabrics/threads, the intricate weave of our lives. Each life, truly a work of art, unique, individual, and yet, part of the collective whole.
What would happen if we used the tapestry of our life as a dialogue for connecting to one another?"
Hariett Madigan
Be true to yourself...In everything you approach...in LOVE...in LIFE...in what you eat...how you dance...the way you dress...the lipstick you wear...in finding the depth of your soul...in where you go...in what you do...in color...in going with your gut...listening to your heart...in laughing...in speaking up...in decorating your home...in the kisses you give...in exploring your world...in trying new things...in pushing yourself in new ways...in the books you read...in living fully without guilt...in being free...in living now...in sharing...in giving...be true to yourself...
and do something courageous and gutsy everyday.
from this website...www.crescendoh.com
Choosing not to be Bitter...Christine Fortin
Travelling to Toronto monthly allowed us to receive help from a team of specialists – hematologist, physician, physiotherapist, social worker, nurse, surgeon, dentist and genetic counselor. Our goal was that with good wise medical care and a supportive attitude Patrick could attain his fullest potential.
In the early to mid 1980’s our Canadian blood supply was contaminated with the HIV Virus. As a result Patrick contracted the HIV virus and was diagnosed HIV positive in February of 1986, age 7. Patrick also contracted all the types of hepatitis… B, C, right up to G. Our family doctor advised us not to disclose our son’s HIV status. He told us that he would not even include the information about HIV in the medical files. No one knew – just Patrick, my husband and I, and we kept the secret for 10 years. The Globe and Mail’s Best Health Reporter of the Americas, André Picard called the infection of thousands of Canadians between 1980 and 1985 our “worst-ever preventable public health disaster.” At the age of 17 Patrick made the decision to disclose the truth to his friends and family. Six years later he died, at the age of 23. Patrick lived with HIV for 17 years.
Early on, we made the decision not to be bitter. The immediate motive was to become empowered so we could nurture Patrick, Richard and Lyanne in the best possible way. We focused on understanding what was happening and used this knowledge to live the best life we could. Learning became a powerful tool. We chose to relocate to North Bay to be closer to the most current, specialized medical care in Toronto. Our family was faced with the seemingly overwhelming chaos of Patrick’s disease. From our experiences we’ve learned that chaos is not a negative. In fact chaos is a positive, a complement to order and a pre-requisite of growth.
We learned that chaos means the unpredictable situations in life, the random chances, the rotten luck, the uncertainties, coincidences and confusion, the unforeseeable and the uncontrollable. Our family’s first approach could have been to attempt to restore complete order, ignoring the significance and potential impact of Patrick’s HIV infection. Instead we embraced the chaos.
Now we know that out of chaos came something new and creative, something not planned that order and routine could never have delivered. We learned that in the end chaos offers the possibility of a choice. Over time we came to realize that Patrick’s journey was only one example of a nightmare that was being experienced by millions of people around the world – often in less able, understanding and supportive environments. So while our personal experience was Patrick’s suffering, the issue became global suffering. At the same time, our realization that Patrick should not have died became the seed for our dream that no one would have to experience what we did. Out of this realization and by choosing to transcend the personal experience of Patrick’s death, new life in the form of Patrick4Life was born.
From Christine Fortin.....
I am deeply honored to have been your guests and to have the opportunity to speak to such a compassionate and attentive, well informed and interested group of ladies. Thank you for supporting Patrick4Life and the RunWalk4Patrick Family Fest for the third year, with full enthusiasm! What a difference it makes to our event!...
"The only work that will ultimately bring any good to any of us is the work of contributing to the healing of the world.”
“We receive Peace when we ask for it. We keep Peace by extending it to others. Those are the keys and there are no others.”
Marianne Williamson quote
On Pain and Suffering (submitted by Sue Robinson)
There is a distinction I am beginning to make in my living, between pain and suffering. Pain is an event, an experience that must be recognized, named, and then used in some way in order for the experience to change, to be transformed into something else, strength or knowledge, or action. Suffering, on the other hand, is the nightmare reliving of unscrutinized and unmetabolized pain. When I live through pain without recognizing it, self-consciously, I rob myself of the power that can come from using that pain, the power to fuel some movement beyond it. I condemn myself to reliving that pain over and over and over whenever something close triggers it. And that is suffering, a seemingly inescapable cycle.
(The healing begins when we use the pain to create movement beyond it, as witnessed, for example in Patrick 4 Life/Fortin family.)
From "Eye to Eye: Black Women, Hatred and Anger" in Sister Outsider, Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde
ON FORGIVENESS AND HEALING (Caroline Myss)
No one can live without spirit. Every memory captures some part of your being. Forgive down through your being. Are you able to forgive and move on? If we forgive the things we are holding onto in the past all of a sudden our life is going to move faster and we are more terrified of the change than forgiveness. It gives you the belief that you can control the speed of change in your life if you just keep things the way they are. (Even if it means being comfortable with your discomfort.)
Three levels of power as it applies to choice.
Conscious action when making choices. Is it worth it if I make this choice if the consequences are that I’m going to lose cell tissues, or damage my body?
Become incredibly aware of the wise investment of power on an everyday basis. What is going to bring back the greatest return to your energy systems and to your life?
Invest your power in your own personal sense of honor. Invest your energy in learning to practice forgiveness. Invest your power in faith. Faith in life. Learning to roll with your mysteries. Give up the need to know why things happen the way they do. Invest your energy in a positive attitude, appreciation for your life. The power you have inside of you is the power of creation itself. Learn to use it wisely.
When you think of being alive, when you think of your life, think of that power. Become conscious, learn to use it wisely, not just for your own body and for your own sake, but bear in mind it’s probably the greatest gift we can give each other!
Caroline Myss (U Tube presentation)
The Puppet (written by Johnny Welch
If for a moment God would forget that I am a rag doll and give me a scrap of life, possibly I would not say everything that I think, but I would definitely think everything that I say.
I would value things not for how much they are worth but rather for what they mean.
I would sleep little, dream more. I know that for each minute that we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light.
I would walk when the others loiter; I would awaken when the others sleep.
I would listen when the others speak, and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream.
If God would bestow on me a scrap of life, I would dress simply, I would throw myself flat under the sun, exposing not only my body but also my soul.
My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hatred on ice and wait for the sun to come out. With a dream of Van Gogh I would paint on the stars a poem by Benedetti, and a song by Serrat would be my serenade to the moon.
With my tears I would water the roses, to feel the pain of their thorns and the incarnated kiss of their petals...My God, if I only had a scrap of life...
I wouldn't let a single day go by without saying to people I love, that I love them.
I would convince each woman or man that they are my favourites and I would live in love with love.
I would prove to the men how mistaken they are in thinking that they no longer fall in love when they grow old--not knowing that they grow old when they stop falling in love. To a child I would give wings, but I would let him learn how to fly by himself. To the old I would teach that death comes not with old age but with forgetting. I have learned so much from you men....
I have learned that everybody wants to live at the top of the mountain without realizing that true happiness lies in the way we climb the slope.
I have learned that when a newborn first squeezes his father's finger in his tiny fist, he has caught him forever.
I have learned that a man only has the right to look down on another man when it is to help him to stand up. I have learned so many things from you, but in the end most of it will be no use because when they put me inside that suitcase, unfortunately I will be dying.
translated by Matthew Taylor and Rosa Arelis Taylor
and make a new beginning. Are you willing to make the leap?"
Hariett
PEARLS............
"The most powerful tool we have to change
our environment is our ability to change ourselves."
Stephanie Matthews Simonton
If you deliberately plan on
being less than you are capable of being,
then I warn you
that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life.
~ Abraham H Maslow (1908-1970) - Psychologist & Author ~
People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed
only if there is a light from within.
~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ~
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.
Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Excellence vs. Perfection
Perfection is being right.
Excellence is being willing to be wrong.
Perfection is fear.
Excellence is taking a risk
Perfection is anger and frustration.
Excellence is powerful
Perfection is control
Excellence is spontaneous
Perfection is judgement
Excellence is accepting
Perfection is taking
Excellence is giving
Perfection is doubt
Excellence is confidence
Perfection is pressure
Excellence is natural
Perfection is the destination
Excellence is the journey
-author unknown
WHAT IS CHANNELING ENERGY?
channeled by Jill Mara
Channeling is connecting to a frequency of consciousness and translating this energy into various forms of expression. The word says it all; channeling is opening a "channel" to a frequency, much as you do when you tune in to a television or radio station. The channelling can be expressed in thoughts, images, spoken or written words, sounds, sensations or knowing.
We are all channels to varying degrees usually without being consciously aware of it. When one becomes a purposeful channel, one is making a choice to make a connection. One can align with any manner of frequency vibration that he or she can attune to for channeled messages.
The type of connection is the choice of the channeler. If one chooses to link to higher levels of energy or consciousness it becomes akin to a state of enlightenment. This does not necessarily mean that the channel themselves are enlightened, but they have opened their minds and souls so that a finer frequency can filter through them. They also may be called a psychic medium, or medium between our world and the unseen. One can also connect with a denser vibration. To avoid channeling dense energy and rather connect with higher vibrations the channel must relax, expand their own consciousness, and direct their intentions to attract, allow, and support only finer frequencies.
Everyone is capable of channeling a higher consciousness whether it be a higher self, elevated soul, angel, spirit guide, elemental spirit, multidimensional entity, or other worldly being. The channelings may not necessarily be expressed in words. One can channel music, art, inventions, healing, dance, any knowledge, and any other form of expression. The great artists and thinkers were channeling higher energy instead of regurgitating the frequencies of others.
Channeling can be a means of connecting to the source of creative consciousness. We are all connected to this source energy. You can choose to be aware of your connection and bring this into your expression in physical form by focused channeling. When you bring awareness to your connection, you strengthen the link to your source and connections become easier, more common, and spur your spiritual growth.
You can feel the vibration emitted from a channeling whether the expression is from a particular entity, piece of music or other form of sharing energy. A finer frequency will bring each soul in alignment with their own source if they remain open. This can be felt as a sense of elation, buoyancy, well being, and leaves you feeling energized and brighter. It is almost as if your inner light bulb is turned on. A denser vibration usually elicits a lower emotional response such as fear, anger, or lack, and will often feel draining.
When finer energy is being channeled, you can feel the change in the atmosphere. It becomes charged. Some people can see it while others have an emotional reaction or sense of knowing the truth. Being in the presence of such energy can often open doorways for your own spiritual development and sensitivity. Simion's entire purpose in sharing their vibration and channeled wisdom is to assist you in awakening your own spiritual channel to your creative consciousness.
Two Wolves - A Cherokee Parable
"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"
The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."
Author Unknown
there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
which tempt you to believe that your critics are right.
To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
(American Poet, Lecturer and Essayist, 1803-1882) ~
And the day came
when the risk to remain tight in a bud
became more painful
than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin ~
Love is what we were born with.
Fear is what we learned here.
The spiritual journey is the relinquishment - or unlearning - of fear
and the acceptance of love back into our hearts.
~ Marianne Williamson from "A Return to Love ~
Empowerment lies in the movement! “I did the best I could today given what I know and have learned” ’This is the best I can possibly do. From what I have done I have “the winning feeling’.
That is the place where change happens, by living what you know to be true. Sometimes especially at the beginning whatever you are working at changing will feel uncomfortable until the change becomes a habit (21 days minimum). PMS Growth happens in the small steps that you take everyday to become your authentic self. And here some things to think about.
Can you identify the strengths within you that have brought you this far.
The dark side? When you don’t live by what you know to be true. When your human self is out of alignment with your authentic self.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” What does that mean to you?
What is one small change you would like to make in yourself?
What do you need in order to initiate this change?
What are some options and small steps that you could take on a daily basis to support your wish?
Listen to your inner voice? What is your self-talk like? Is it supportive or condemning?
1. Living Fit from the Inside-Out is about expanding one’s capacity to be what you are already-a world class woman. It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone of us.
2. This is your life right now! What emotions keep you locked in the past?
3. What is your vision for your health, your relationships, your spirit? What are your strategies? How do you plan to carry out those strategies?
4. What is your vision for you?
5. To keep thinking of the times when things weren’t so great, robs us of the joy of now. Is your cup half full or half empty? What is feeding the emptiness? What is feeding the fullness? How are you showing up in your life?
6. Make one step today toward tomorrow. Strive toward greatness by showing up in your life, in the present moment.
7. From a Living Fit point of view what does change mean to you? How are you going to implement it into your daily living?
8. You may be interested in reading Feed the Wolf A Practical Guide for Exploring Your Possibilities by Dennis Bernardi.
9. Growing a culture of Living Fit from the Inside-Out, embodies caring, compassion, and beauty for yourself and others. The Truth bracelet is a trigger to remind you to live your truth, make the changes that will lead you to the best version of you. It means establishing new habits that keep us present to replace old habits that keep us locked in the past.
The Springtime of life
Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years'. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
Worry, doubt, fear, despair; these are things that turn the growing spirit back to dust. Whether seventy or sixteen, there is in every being's heart the love of wonder, the amazement of the stars, the unfailing childlike curiosity for what's next and for the simple joy of life.
You're as young as your faith, as old as your doubt, as young as your self-confidence; as old as your fears, as young as your hope, as old as despair. As long as your heart continues to receive messages of beauty, joy, courage, grandeur, and love from the earth, your fellow human beings, and your understanding of God-you will always be young.
Let us hope that you never let your heart become covered with the snow of pessimism and the ice of cynicism-for then you will have truly grown old.
(based on a poem entitled "YOUTH" written by Samuel Ullman in the early 1940's) Revised by Bud LaBranche
"Climbing The Ridge"
-Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
In the spirit of change, think of one thing that you could change in your daily life that would make you a better version of yourself, a healthier, more joyful person. And that brings us to the theme of the winter session-empowerment.
Each and every one of us is a rich tapestry of experiences that have brought us this far in life. Start the year by recognizing, maybe even journalling, your strengths and your uniqueness. Consider making that your starting point, then think about making your focus optimal health, a deeper spiritual connection, and more joy. Put yourself on your priority list, make a personal commitment to change, to filling your own cup so you always have plenty to share with others. Ask your questions, especially when you stumble, and be open to receiving the answers. I am going to work at it. If you choose to do this as well, you can count on my compassionate, loving support and I am counting on yours.
See you January 4, 2010! Another 'aventura'!
Peace, joy, love,
Hariett
CRYSTAL
“You will see that under your gaze God (has) invaded the universe. God (has) (penetrated) it as a ray of light does a crystal.”
CRYSTAL
The divine within
is like a crystal,
compact and small
of little notice really
until ~
in God’s grace and time
it is held up to the light.
Gently, lovingly
God strokes and stirs
the divine within,
the tiny crystal in
God’s earthen vessel.
A soul incarnate.
A ray of pure light
penetrates cleanly
to the crystal.
Love is then refracted
and dispersed
in colourful diversity.
Oh my soul, stand tall
for in my uniqueness
I send a message
to the world
of God’s love within me.
Janet Bourgeau
January 10, 2001
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio (emailed to Hariett by Agnes Cormack, edited by Hariett)
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. When you can’t take care of you, your friends and family will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
9. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
10. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey was/is.
11. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
12. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
13. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
14. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
15. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
16. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
17. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
18. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
19. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
20. Always choose life.
21. Forgive everyone everything.
22. What other people think of you is none of your business.
23. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
24. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
25. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
26. Believe in miracles.
27. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
28. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
29. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
30. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
31. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Yield. Surrender.
36. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
John's Balfe'sbook suggestions:
John Shelby Spong:
Jesus for the non-religious
A new Christianity for a new world
Marcus J. Borg:
The Heart of Christianity
Reading the Bible again for the first time
Tom Harper:
The Pagan Christ
Diarmuid O'Murchu:
Quantum Theology: Spiritual Implications of the new physics
As I live everyday,
I want to be a channel of peace.
May I bring love where there is hatred
and healing where there is hurt;
joy where there is sadness
and hope where there is fear.
I pray that I may always try
to understand and comfort other people
as well as seeking comfort and understanding
from them.
Wherever possible, may I choose to be
a light in the darkness,
a help in times of need,
and a caring and honest friend.
And may justice, kindness, and peace
flow from my heart forever.
Amen
(page 253, With or Without God by Gretta Vosper)
Mary Soutar sent this link to me. Inspiring and inspirational dance that makes me think that anything is possible and beautiful when it comes from a place of love.......go to amazingdance.wmv
Thanks to Corinne Fleming for this insight on the word ámen'.
I had a wonderful déjà vue this morning of an incident that happened with my daughter at the table when she said grace. She ended the prayer with an “awomen” because she felt we had said “amen” enough and it was time to hear from the women. So that got me thinking and I looked up the word amen, which is actually defined as “I tell you in truth” or “truly”. She was devastated; it was her first women’s lib moment, at a very tender age. The word amen represents certainty, truthfulness, faithfulness and an absence of doubt; therefore it is used at the end of a prayer, or at the beginning of a statement.
Dear Hariett
After reading the book by Sue Kenney, my desire has always been to be a motivational speaker...her book inspired me to take my first little step which was.......... a very good friend of mine was celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary and my husband was asked to toast her husband, however no-one had been asked to toast her..soooooo I made my first step and went up and toasted her that evening much to her delight and surprise...I felt I had done a good thing...thanks to you hariett and your program for giving me the motivation needed to start and to Sue Kenney........your friend always....Diane Cerisano
Sue Kenney's 7 steps for change, leading from a place of love:
- Make a commitment. Decide to ‘be’. I am___________
- Write it down.
- Say it out loud.
- Plan-set a goal to ‘do’ it.
- Follow up. Be aware.
- Reward yourself.
- Watch for a miracle!
ON PERSONAL POWER
"The soul is like a wild animal - tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet, exceedingly shy. If we want to see a wild animal, the last thing we do is go crashing through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out. But, if we are willing to walk quietly into the woods and sit silently for an hour or two at the base of a tree, the creature we are waiting for may well emerge"....Parker J. Palmer
"Everything we do, everything we are, rests on our personal power. If we have enough of it, one word is enough to change the course of our lives. If we don't, the most magnificent piece of wisdom can be revealed to us and that revelation won't make a damn bit of difference!" Carlos Castaneda
"Reclaiming your birthright" with Dr. Kristin Shepherd.
Monday, Feb 23: Some comments by Kristin as I heard it on Thursday, Feb. 19.....
I am where I am where I am! Empowerment is about choice, confidence, and courage. Becoming conscious and understanding the way I feel and moving in another direction. Putting my thoughts where I want them. Why do I want this? Will power is about making choices. I can find incremental change.
Would you consider not telling the same story for the hundred time? You may think that the story you're telling is true. There are a hundred truths. It is also true that...
Will power is about having the will to take your thoughts to a place that feels better. Find some other truths that are relevant for you. Fill yourself in that direction. Every single moment we have the power of change! Pick something small enough and real enough to start the change.
We squelch our desires. Allow your desires to wake up. Feel that you have a relationship with the universe. We learn by our choices. There are a million ways to be happy. What choices are you making?
A quote as told by Gloria Decaire: "The war is won and lost between your ears, so choose your battlefields carefully."
As I heard it....Hariett
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
In the Fall, 2008, Kristin asked that we submit our questions to her regarding "Empowerment. Here are your submissions.
If you are a certain type of person, how do you get out of that or be empowered to move beyond your fear and stop worrying about what other people think?
Empowerment is an over-used word. Can it be real/action?
When you gain this power, how do you give it away without losing it?
What is the difference between empowerment and empowering?
How do we get control of our personal power when we are surrounded by negativity?
Can you explain emotional set-point and the law of attraction as in Ask and It Is Given?
***Still time to bring in your grand kids' photos (group pics if you can) for the bulletin board to celebrate our children during February. Click on "silent auction info" for all you need to know regarding the auction.
CHAKRAS: To learn more about chakras go to http://www.crystalinks.com/chakras.html or google "chakras" for a wide variety of information.
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can -- there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
—Sarah Caldwell
You must take chances. If you do nothing, you reduce the possibilities you have for greater joy.
—Walter Anderson
Karen Sarlo challenged us all, from my perspective, to look at the complexity of our human condition. Do our thoughts register somewhere in our body? Can we change the way we think about things? For more information about chakras, check out "Reflections" on this site. Thanks to Karen for having the courage to present on a topic that may be unfamiliar to most of us and thanks to the Living Fit members for their willingness to explore unknown territory.
Hariett
Creativity Quotes
Abraham Maslow: The key question isn't "What fosters creativity?" But it is why in God's name isn't everyone creative? Where was the human potential lost? How was it crippled? I think therefore a good question might be not why do people create? But why do people not create or innovate? We have got to abandon that sense of amazement in the face of creativity, as if it were a miracle if anybody created anything.
Alan Alda: The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.
Albert Einstein: The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
"The Wild Divine is helping to transform our mass consciousness to one of peace and harmony through a very practical program that allows people to get in intimate touch with the innermost core of their being. To know that they have more power than they have ever realized, to know that they can influence what is happening in their body, in their mind, in their emotions, as well as in the world that they create everyday."
Deepak Chopra, M.D.
Buckminster Fuller: When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Buckminster Fuller: There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly.
Franklin D. Roosevelt: Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.
Erich Fromm: Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.
Erich Fromm: Conditions for creativity are to be puzzled; to concentrate; to accept conflict and tension; to be born everyday; to feel a sense of self.
Nietzsche: You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.
Peter Senge: New insights fail to get put into practice because they conflict with deeply held internal images of how the world works ... images that limit us to familiar ways of thinking and acting. That is why the discipline of managing mental models -- surfacing, testing, and improving our internal pictures of how the world works -- promises to be a major breakthrough for learning organizations.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: A painter told me that nobody could draw a tree without in some sort becoming a tree; or draw a child by studying the outlines of its form merely . . . but by watching for a time his motions and plays, the painter enters into his nature and can then draw him at every attitude . . .
Robert C. Fuller: Spirituality exists wherever we struggle with the issue of how our lives fit into the greater cosmic scheme of things. This is true even when our questions never give way to specific answers or give rise to specific practices such as prayer or meditation. We encounter spiritual issues every time we wonder where the universe comes from, why we are here, or what happens when we die. We also become spiritual when we become moved by values such as beauty, love, or creativity that seem to reveal a meaning or power beyond our visible world. An idea or practice is "spiritual" when it reveals our personal desire to establish a felt-relationship with the deepest meanings or powers governing life.
Sharon Welch: Injustice can be eliminated, but human conflicts and natural limitations cannot be removed. The conflicts of social life and the limitations of nature cannot be controlled or transcended. They can, however, be endured and survived. It is possible for there to be a dance with life, a creative response to its intrinsic limits and challenges ... [A Feminist Ethic of Risk]
Rita Mae Brown: Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work.
Monica Baldwin: The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn't, matters not a jot. The possibility is always there.
Margaret J. Wheatley: The things we fear most in organizations -- fluctuations, disturbances, imbalances -- are the primary sources of creativity.
Edward de Bono: It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all.
Albert Einstein: You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created.
Carl Sagan: If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
William James: Genius means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way.
Mind Mapping: The following is a great site with lots of examples on how to mind map.
http://www.mind-mapping.co.uk/mind-maps-examples.htm
How to Mind Map Use just key words, or wherever possible images.
Start from the center of the page and work out.
Make the center a clear and strong visual image that depicts the general theme of the map.
Create sub-centers for sub-themes.
Put key words on lines. This reinforces structure of notes.
Print rather than write in script. It makes them more readable and memorable. Lower case is more visually distinctive (and better remembered) than upper case.
Use color to depict themes, associations and to make things stand out.
Anything that standsout on the page will stand out in your mind.
Think three-dimensionally.
Use arrows, icons or other visual aids to show links between different elements.
Don't get stuck in one area. If you dry up in one area go to another branch.
Put ideas down as they occur, wherever they fit. Don't judge or hold back.
Break boundaries. If you run out of space, don't start a new sheet; paste more paper onto the map. (Break the 8x11 mentality.)
Be creative. Creativity aids memory.
Get involved. Have fun.
My Life with Garry
by Jan Shulman
I can tell you that I was deeply honored to be asked by Hariett to speak to “Garry’s Ladies”. Sitting down to write this story has been very cathartic and I think everyone should take the time to explore this exercise. You ladies have been known in our family for many years and it all came about because of our grandson Jake. We were babysitting him for Kelly and Garry had a scheduled speech with your group. Unfortunately we had to take Jake to the Y day care that day and Jake cried and cried when Garry left him. He told him he had to give a speech to a group of ladies and from that day forward you have been known as “Garry’s Ladies” and in Jake’s mind you were always “Grandpa’s ladies”.
Garry did much preparation before his presentations to your group. He would work endlessly on the computer getting his “stuff” together. He always came back from his presentations here higher than a kite and I hope you realize what a treasure you were to him. Whether he was battling pneumonia or walking around with a catheter and a leg bag or getting chemo there was no way he was going to miss his chance with this group.
I often asked him how he was going to speak for a whole hour and he used to tell me he could speak for 3 or 4 hours if he could get someone to listen.
I am definitely not an expert in all the books he read and all the material he downloaded from the internet and from the many courses he took but some did rub off on me. We often had conversations about his latest theory on quantum physics, hypnotherapy, neurolinguistic programming, meditation, prayer, healing and especially the mind body connection. Garry was a voracious reader and unlike me he was able to internalize all that information he read and bring it to the life of everyone with whom he had contact.. He so enjoyed talking to people and in all sincerity I believe he made a difference in the many lives he touched along his journey.
I have thought a lot about what I might talk about today. “My life with Garry”. I can say, in all honesty, that it was a life filled with fun, love, adventure, sports, and lots of hard work. Garry had a very intense personality, an insatiable desire for knowledge, and an unrelenting drive to succeed at whatever task presented itself. He wasn’t like a three pronged plug he was like a 10 pronged plug with boundless energy.
The kids and I always hoped he would soon get tired of working so we could all rest.
I have met many people, especially since his death, who have related many stories of their experience with Garry. They always have the same theme. He took the time to listen to their story and both parties left the encounter enriched.
I don’t want to give you the impression that we lived in the magical land of Disney. As you all know marriage and relationships are not perfect and we certainly had our times of not always agreeing on the next big adventure, or of just getting along day to day. However I think the biggest gift we gave to each other was to let each of us be ourselves. Free to develop our own avenues of interest.
Like Garry I have spent endless hours thinking about what to say. How to put my thoughts together in a meaningful way. I have not had to search the internet for information but have had to search my own mind to verbalize my thoughts.
Most of you here today knew about Garry’s adult life but I wanted to give you some of his background. He was born in 1939 to a father with an Austrian heritage and a French Canadian mother. His brother Ray was born 13 months later. Garry’s father was an orphan at about the age of 3 and spent his young years in an orphanage in Saskatchewan. He then was moved around to different families and was on his own at a very young age. He finally made his way to Ontario and worked as a miner in Sudbury and other northern towns. His mother was born in Warren and due to the early death of her mother was left with an older sister and younger brother to pretty much fend for themselves. She also made her way to Sudbury and supported herself by cleaning houses. Both his parents had little love and guidance from anyone during their formative years. His father was very strict and difficult to get along with and demanded hard work and compliance with his type of discipline. There was no fooling around with him. His mother was a very hard working person who helped her husband in every way possible. She was a good mother-in-law and in fact when we were first married she came over to our apartment for a visit. I can still remember Garry showing her the shirts I had ironed. They probably were not nearly up to her ability of ironing but she had the good sense to tell him that everything about “my ironing” was perfect.
Garry always told the story of his Dad wanting to buy some property for a “camp”. Of course they had no money and the lot on the French River was $50.00. They had to borrow the money from Household Finance in order to buy the property. His Dad then built a camp on that piece of land. They couldn’t afford new wood so he salvaged all sorts of items from various locations around Sudbury. He was a very resourceful man with no formal education who made the best of his situation. His Dad also built 2 other houses in Sudbury so both Garry and Ray learned lots from working with their Dad. I presume this is how Garry seemed to know how to do electricity, plumbing and every other skill required to renovate a house.
His Dad was very proud of the fact that both his boys went to university and was looking forward to their graduation but unfortunately died at the age of 52 just 5 days before that ceremony.
Garry grew up in the flour mill section of Sudbury. In fact it was a very dangerous place to live. Well that was according to his mother. Apparently when Garry turned 6 and was to start school his mother wouldn’t let him go because he had to cross a bridge over a stream to walk there. We always had visions of this being a rope bridge over a whirlpool of water only to find that wasn’t so. After we were married Garry showed me and our kids this dangerous path he would have taken to school. He stayed at home that year and started with his brother Ray. So as you can see his mother was very protective of her two little boys.
During primary school and secondary school Garry and Ray did everything together. They spent their time doing all sorts of sports and working at Dominion Store unloading trucks and stocking shelves. They definitely were not movers and shakers with the girls as they were too busy being “in shape” for their sports. Both were very good athletes and Garry was very proud of all the trophies he won in track events.
Garry and Ray attended Western together. They lived together, did sports together, studied together, traveled together, did everything together. Like all siblings they loved each other but did not always see eye to eye on things. They were both strong willed and fiery.
I think my life has three time periods.
1. LBG Life before Garry
2. LWG Life with Garry
3. LAG Life after Garry.
I met Garry when I was half way through nursing. He and his brother Ray lived next door to my best friend. Their bedroom windows were about a foot apart in downtown London. Of course training to be a nurse involved lots of extracurricular activities such as drinking underage, smoking, partying and trying to find a boyfriend. On our first meeting my friend Helen and I went with Garry and Ray to the university gym. I had my eye on Garry as in my mind he was tall dark and handsome. All day we worked out at the gym on the trampoline, doing weights, doing gymnastics and playing basketball. It was a great day and at the end I had hoped I had made a good impression on him with my athletic ability or lack of ability. Of course for the next week I couldn’t even bend down. The next time we met was again at my friend Helen’s place but this time we nurses were having a drunken party. Both Ray and Garry came over to see what all the noise was about only to find us either sick or passed out. I don’t remember much of that party but he always reminded me that both he and Ray could have taken advantage of us girls and we wouldn’t have known the difference. Apparently they didn’t and shortly after that he asked me to the half way dance. At that time I remember being impressed by all his dreams of what he was going to do when he got out of school. I, of course, was totally in love with this person who was so unlike anyone I had ever met. We were married in 1965.
Life with Garry: Now this part was an adventure. Some good and of course some not so good. He was the ideas man and always approached me with, what I call , the HEY JAN SYNDROME
As I said before he was like a 10 pronged plug and like electricity his ideas took on many different directions. It was hard to keep up with his ever increasing projects. He was very hard on himself and of course that rubbed off on all of us as we all tried to make sure that we did our best to make his project work.
As Brent said in his funeral speech he often bit off more that he could chew and that would result in some moody snits which we called “hissy fits”.
Rubber tire tracks up Durril Street and some time to be with himself always seemed to settle his thoughts and he would return home saying he was sorry and we would all go on again.
He was totally spontaneous in this thoughts and actions. I know we didn’t sit down to figure out the impact that some of our actions might bring to our life. Garry was an eternal optimist and always said. Don’t worry Jan. It will work out. His attitude was always positive and he was willing to try anything.
Some examples of the HEY JAN SYNDROME:
1967 Hey Jan what do you think about going to Europe for a few months. We will both quit our jobs and just go traveling. I was 3 months pregnant so I said “what the heck” Soon we will have kids and we won’t be able to do that. So we spent the next 5 months traveling Europe in a beat up old Volkswagen on the youth hostel circuit. Well we lived in the lap of luxury spending 1700.00 during our 5 months abroad so you know we were staying in the best of places and eating at the best restaurants. It was a great experience and it will always top my list of crazy spontaneous ideas.
1974: Hey Jan. What do you think of buying a cottage. It is a really nice property. You know all our neighbours have a cottage, The Browns, The Mulligans. So we bought a dump of a cottage and then worked for the next 12 years fixing it up.
1975: Hey Jan. What do you think about moving to Utah for a year so I can get my PhD. I’ll apply for a sabbatical leave and you can quit your job here and apply for a license to work in the US and also take care of the three children we now have. I say “What the heck” Lets do it. So off to Provo we go and spent the next 14 months living on a very meager salary. Garry studied very hard for that year and finished his courses and dissertation before we left in August of 1976.
During the time we were in Utah we rented our house to Alan and Kathy Aylett. I am not sure what they did in that house but for many years after we returned to OUR house when people asked where we lived we told them and they always replied “Oh you live in the Aylett’s house”. To this day Kathy has been very closed mouth as to what went on when we were away. Not even the Browns would tell us
1980: Hey Jan. What do you think of opening a kid's shoe store in Northgate Square. Well first of all I don’t know the first thing about shoes or running a business but I say “What the heck” It can’t be that hard. Kneeling down on the floor fitting kids shoes all day should be a breeze. And besides we will be able to buy our shoes at wholesale prices. Now this was the adventure of all adventures. We had no idea of what we were getting into and struggled and worked long hours for 18 years with stores in various locations for very little return. Except we both learned lots about people, we attended lots of shoe shows and it allowed us to travel many times to lots of great cities.
1983: Hey Jan: I was watching the news tonight and Michael Jackson is doing a concert in Buffalo tomorrow night and I am going to take the kids. Of course I can’t go as I will be spending the day crawling around on the store floor fitting and I hope selling kid’s shoes. But I say: Brent is out camping with his friend in the bush somewhere. He says no problem I’ll go find him early in the morning and we’ll be off. Of course they have no tickets for the concert but off they go and luckily they bought tickets from a scalper and had the time of their lives. Nothing was ever considered impossible.
1985: Hey Jan: You know the Master’s basketball competition is in Toronto next week. I’m thinking I will go and compete. I said “but you don’t have a team to play on”. He says’ it doesn’t matter he will just pick up with some country’. So he drags the two boys off to Toronto. He is picked up by the Argentinean team and plays so much he has blisters all over his feet but he had a great experience.
2003: Hey Jan. I found the most beautiful piece of property just south of here on Horn Lake. There are three cottages on the property and it is like a piece of heaven. You have to go and see it. Well I said to myself this is just what we need. So after about 3 months of coaxing I finally took the drive. He was right again. It was a piece of heaven. It was so beautiful we bought it. Now we owe lots of money and we are now in the cottage rental business. We don’t know anything about the tourist industry. But we say “What the heck” It can’t be that hard. So for 3 years we slaved over that place. Building decks, lifting one cottage out of the mud, fixing foundations, painting and all the other upkeep that goes with the tourist trade. Spending every Saturday cleaning up 3 cottages for the next guests. And then praying all summer that nothing would go wrong with the septic system. We sold that property in 2006 and I know Garry was always sad that we did but for the next 2 years I reminded him every Saturday that instead of doing something around our house we could be at Horn Lake slaving away. We met many terrific people who rented our cottages and that brought lots of joy to Garry.
The above are some of our big adventures and trust me there were many pros and cons to all of them. However it taught us both to work together for a common cause which I believe is the thread that holds all our relationships together.
Garry also suffered from another syndrome which we call BUYITIS. Now this syndrome is not written up in any of the medical books I’ve researched. However it can be described as a sort of convulsive disorder in that a man’s right hand impulsively jerks toward the right hand side of a man’s pants where they keep their wallet. This syndrome has remissions and exacerbations. It was particularly noticeable when we drove past a “princess auto” store. We have set upon set of screwdrivers, chisels, saws, hammers, tape measures, wrenches, and countless other tools. Garry’s workshop was not neat and tidy so he could rarely find what he was looking for so the next time we went to princess auto he had an episode of buyitis which could only be controlled by buying a needless tool as he couldn’t find the original. Unfortunately this syndrome is hereditary and Brent (our oldest son) also has this trait. If a woman has this syndrome she goes directly to her wallet to pull out her credit card. I am sure we all have a tendency, at times, to this syndrome.
This syndrome worsened with the advent of e-bay where, as you know, you can buy anything.
Garry spent countless hours on e-bay finding, what he deemed as bargains, and then traveled miles and miles to go pick up his latest find. He was happiest when he found a piece of machinery on e-bay and then could drive in his truck for days to go pick it up. He would come home so proud of his purchase.
During his last episode with cancer a severe case of buyitis struck again. He often visited a person who was a raike master. After every treatment he would come home talking endlessly about this little dog named “Molly”. It was so friendly and very well behaved. This episode started in December 2007 with his searching of the net for a little dog just like “Molly”. Well all his searching paid off and in January we came home from Toronto with, you’ve guessed it, our own little dog whom we named Molly. Every morning when he got up that little dog would make a bee line to his lap. It brought such delight to him and would often snuggle up beside him when he was in bed.
When we picked out “Molly” the people selling the dog told us that the dog would be very smart and trainable. They even told us that the dog could be trained to ring a bell when it had to go outside to do it’s business. Garry took this to heart and immediately went out to buy a bell for thr dog. To this day that bell is silent.
I am not a person who knows anything about zodiac signs or what house my moon is in but I thought about looking up some information about Garry’s sign which is LEO. I learned that LEO is the fixed fire sign of the zodiac. Fire changes substances and Leo’s like transforming things with their energy. When you talk about energy Garry had lots of it. It could be unrelenting energy he put forth on a work project or the energy he brought to a conversation. He was very competitive and would drive forward to succeed at any task he chose. He used this energy in his fight against the disease that took his life.
Fire also means “hot”. In his younger days he was very hot tempered often storming off in the car. This “hot” side was also demonstrated in his teenage years causing him to be expelled from three high schools in Sudbury. I think this helped him tremendously in teaching as he always had the ability to relate to the “not so well behaved students”. He seemed to have an understanding of their frustration trying to get them to direct their anger into more constructive endeavors.
Fires always burn down. As Garry aged and experienced his life challenges he became softer and turned his physical energy toward spiritual and personal growth.
As I read more about the personality traits of a LEO many of them depicted the Garry I lived with.
1. HONESTY:I found Garry to be totally honest. He wore his emotions on his sleeve and there was nothing he could hide. In fact whenever we crossed the border with things we weren’t going to declare we had to switch drivers before we got to the border so I would be talking to the crossing guard. He was hopeless when he tried to lie.
2. FRIENDLINESS: Here Garry excelled. He always had time to talk to people. Some he knew and others he met briefly on a plane or in a line up. I used to send him to town himself as I knew it would be at least a two to three hour excursion as he always met someone he knew or taught. He was always interested in what his former students were doing and was extremely pleased to hear of their accomplishments. He would meet students who, after twenty years, still had their high school notes on the life lessons he taught them.
3. A DESIRE TO BE ON TOP: Garry loved to be at the top of his game whether in athletics, designing a piece of furniture, education, doing a presentation or just everyday living. He needed to be the best he could be at every challenge. He had unrelenting drive to succeed. This can be very draining and I think the biggest challenge for this type of personality is contentment. He always felt he could accomplish more so that was difficult for him to deal with. I told him many times that he undervalued himself and all his accomplishments.
4. COURAGEOUS: I looked up the word courage in the dictionary. It is described as “the quality of being brave’. I haven’t met anyone yet in my life who displayed more bravery than Garry. As you all know he battled his way bravely through three bouts of cancer. I have a difficult time even explaining the fortitude he showed during all his treatments and all the negative medical messages he received during his last 13 years of life.
1996 was the start of a whole new world for us. It was the year of his first diagnosis. We were devastated at the prognosis. It is hard to hear the words “I’m sorry but there is nothing we can do for you. In his usual fashion he wasn’t willing to accept the outcome painted for him. This is the time he rose to the challenge. This is when he started his journey to healing. He studied all sorts of concepts, attended multiple workshops, and contacted many many people in the field of healing. This is the time he opened my mind to so many different aspects of our universe and the power of our sub- conscious mind. He embraced all he read to help himself and me. It was a difficult time dealing with all the treatments he had to take and how bad they made him feel but he never succumbed to negative messages. He was going to try all the medical treatment they had and he had an inner feeling that he would be OK. And he was OK.
Life with Garry as a husband:
Garry was very loving to me. He always called me Love. He liked being hugged. He liked doing things together. He liked to dance, especially the jive. He liked to play tennis and ski. He liked to go on trips together. He liked to shop everywhere. He liked “chick flicks” He liked having friends over. He liked to talk. He liked decorating our home. He liked cars and driving fast. He liked sailing. He liked talking on the phone. He liked driving all over the place to pick up some machine he found on the internet. He liked watching TV. He liked nice clothes but didn’t like spending the money to buy them. He liked going to the movies. He loved New York, the south of France, Palm Springs. He loved to read. Not fiction but always something about personal growth. He loved the internet and spent endless hours looking for property and things. He liked big machinery and learning to operate them. He liked most everything I cooked. He liked to always have a project on the go but didn’t like it if things didn’t go well. He liked to be respected. He was opinionated yet open to a host of new ideas. He was strong and yet fragile. He was so optimistic but sometimes naïve. He was demanding in some ways but easily pleased. He could be moody . He strived for success and was successful but always felt he could do more. He was the eternal optimist and looked to the future as if there would be no end. He was very spiritual but did not like dogmatic organized religion. He could be short tempered if we didn’t agree on things. He loved wood and could build anything from a picture. He was artistic. He was always in a hurry to get a project done. It was as if he knew there was a limited time for him to accomplish all he wanted to do.
There were also some things he couldn’t do or didn’t want to do. He didn’t know how to balance a cheque book. He didn’t keep receipts even if I asked him to do it. He didn’t like organizing his papers for taxes. He didn’t like paying bills. He never knew when he had appointments. He didn’t like anything he considered mundane.
What was Garry like in illness:
Garry was the perfect patient. He never complained. People would call him to ask how he was. His answer was always “great”
He was easy to look after. He was totally undemanding. He was so brave during every procedure.
We didn’t talk much about the process of dying. We didn’t talk about how I would cope with his death. We didn’t talk about where he would be buried. We didn’t talk about what his funeral would be like.
We did talk about our life and accepted the fact that we had a very good shot at it. We did review all the things that we had done together. We did talk about our kids and how proud we were of them. We did talk about how lucky we were to have spent 43 years together.
It was hard to talk to him about dying. After all he was the eternal optimist. He was sure he would be able to keep going and not die. He looked into the future as if there was no end. And perhaps he was right. Is there an end. Is this just a short journey only to be re-lived again? I know this is what Garry believed and it enabled him to face his death with such courage and dignity.
What was Garry like to live with as a father to our children.
He was a constant teacher. He was playful. For example on one of our trips to London to see my family on our way home he stopped the car on the side of the road, grabbed a stick and ran a few yards back from the car and started beating a piece of a blown out tire fiercely with the stick. After several blows he picked up the piece of tire and ran it back to the car explaining that it was a “rubber tausarus” which was a dangerous animal that attached itself to truck tires. The kids were amazed.
He was strict and required that they work hard and taught them the skills they would need as they grew to adulthood. He taught them to value education and do their best in whatever career they chose. He expected excellence from them and I am sure they felt pressure to perform their best. He showed them lots of love and as they grew older he valued their approval.
What was Garry like to live with as a grandfather?
Garry was a magnet to little kids. He knew how to play with them. He loved to lie in bed with them and read a book. He loved to rock them to sleep. He loved to teach them how to ski or play tennis.
One cute story I will share with you. As Garry became weaker he spent lots of time in bed. Jake (our grandson) was over at our house and I was sitting folding clothes in the living room. I said to Jake. How would you rate Grandpa as a Grandpa between 1 and 10? He answered that 10 wasn’t good enough to describe Grandpa. I said that was great but how would he rate me as a Grandma between 1 and 10. He replied “Well Grandma I would have to give you a 3”. I was totally taken aback by this answer but he quickly redeemed himself. He said “Well Grandma I gave you 3 as a Grandma but you are my best friend. As they say with kids don’t ask the question if you don’t want to hear the answer.
I am not the only one in this room who has lost someone they loved dearly so now I come to LAG. Life after Garry. It’s been quiet, lonely, restless, depressing, unfocused, and unenergetic. I am sure everyone in this position can relate to these feelings. The dynamics of a “couple relationship” with friends and family change. It can never be the same. However one must realize the world will not come to you. You must come to the world.
This next statement may sound bizarre but it would be my advice to anyone facing a death that you know is imminent. I think eulogies should be written and shared with the person you love before they die or are too sick to comprehend the words. I know this would be very difficult but I know that Garry would have loved to hear the kid’s eulogies.
We often wait too long or don’t know how to approach such a delicate subject and it would be difficult but it would be comforting to know that YOU were a special person in the lives of those you loved so much.
As you know Garry’s favorite song was “When you wish upon a star”
These are a few words from that song
“When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires will come to you
If your heart is in your dreams
No request is too extreme:
When you wish upon a star as dreamers do.
Garry was a dreamer. He worked hard to make sure his dreams came true. On his journey he also helped many others make their dreams come true and what better memory can one leave.
I hope that today I have given you some insight into my life with Garry. We knew each other for 45 years and thankfully when he died I had no regrets. He often said to me as he grew weaker and I had to do more for him that he was sorry to cause me such a lot of work and sadness. I would always reply to his comment that “if the tables were turned would he not do the same for me”. He always replied “of course”.
Luckily we had a great marriage, we packed our life full of all kinds of different things, we were blessed with 3 kids and 6 grandchildren. He enriched all our lives and we have great memories of our time together.
In closing I just want to say that even though Garry could devour a book about how to do anything and succeed at it, he never did learn how to put that roll of toilet paper on that little springy rod that holds it in the toilet paper holder.
Thank you
Janice
December 15, 2008